I was beginning to think that my travels were not going to be as exciting as they used to be. I was finding NOTHING interesting was going on with the people I ran into. . .or situations that I get in. . . .until now.
I’m returning from a trip home and this trip, unlike any other trip, included a cowboy attached to my hip.
I walked up to the security belt and began unloading my laptop, my quart size bag full of hand sanitizer, and my shoes. The cowboy behind me was absolutely flabbergasted at the idea of everyone taking their shoes off through security.
::muffled laughter behind me::
“Do we really have to take our shoes off?”
I wondered if he was talking to me, but I thought to myself, “I’m not turning around because I don’t want to get into it with this cowboy”.
“Hey, do we really have to take our shoes off?”
Uhg. Now I knew he was talking to the back of my head.
“No sir, I just WANT to take my shoes off and develop a massive amount of fugal infactions on the bottom of my feet”.
--NOT—
I said, “Yes, we do.”
::laughter::
“Why?”
“Sir, I really don’t know. I just do what I always do when I go through security”.
“Is there a sign?”
“No.”
::laughter::
“Well, that is crazy. Do I have to take the coins out of my pocket too? And my classes?
“Yes, you need to empty your pockets”
::laughter::
“Why?”
“I don’t know”
::laughter::
If grandma in front me would hurry it up I would be able to escape this questioning cowboy. But turns out, grandma thinks she needs to keep her prized possessions 600 feet away from the woman in front of her.
Finally, I push my stuff through, and walk on, thinking SURELY cowboy is going to be strip searched because he left a cigarette lighter in his lasso holder. Turns out, he didn’t. He followed right behind me, still awestruck that he had to take his shoes off.
I grab my things, put one shoe on, and walk to the benches and begin to load up my bag again.
Who sits down next to me? My shadow.
“Thanks for your help. I just don’t think I could have gotten through this without you”
What is this, an emotionally scarring situation??? Have I been numbed to the pain that is taking your shoes off because I travel so much?
“Sure thing.”
I walk away, without saying goodbye.
As I sit at my gate, I keep my eyes focused on the screen. I’m dying to see if cowboy is on my flight at, God forbid, sitting next to me.
What if I sat between cowboy and cry-voice? I’d die.
So, I thought, well that was nice. Atleast I have something to blog about now. And as I sit and write this, a sweating Italian 55 year old comes up to me, and stands about 3 inches from my face.
“Kid, you look way too intense”.
“oh…..well….” (I think, “What the heck do I say to this guy??????”)
“You look way too intense”
heard you the first time creeper.
“What are you doing?”
I’m shocked at how invasive this old man is being!
“I’m trying to figure this out”, as I began to mess with my wifi so he wouldn’t see that I’m blogging about him.
Finally, he walks away. I’m left here, shocked. A few things cross my mind. . .
1. Last time I checked I wasn’t a kid. Please don’t call me ‘kid’. Thanks.
2. Why on earth did he think it was okay to get IN MY FACE and look AT MY COMPUTER screen?
3. Why did you say something in the first place?
So thus begins my travels. I’m hoping that I have NOTHING to blog about after I get in my seat.
